Um, I don't know who U MEANT to send that to, but yes I WAS going to fuck you. Instead you can go play Halo with ur friends.
EVERYONE CAN HEAR YOU FUCKING YOU ARE IN A TENT
AND OMG I HOPE YOU ARE GREAT WITH CHILD. COOK THAT BUN!
Underwear, t-shirt, bottle of Pinot Grigio and Golden Girls. I've hit a new level of homosexual.
When he came downstairs he looked at me like I was attempting to rob his house.
Did you reintroduce yourself?
He threatened to call the cops.
I'm drunk at a gay bar with my riding crop. God save the queens
My boss walked in on me puking in the urinal while taking a piss. Sunday funday is eroding my last shred of credibility at work.
For every drunk face picture you send me, I'm gonna send a wholesome family photo.
I don't know. Something about answering "what did you do on Sunday?" Seems odd when the reply is, painted, went to the grocery store, put a restraint device on my bed.
You were great dude. You wanted to charge the guy with fedora $100 to get in.
Like I cant decide if he's like autistic or something or just seriously cock blocks himself on purpose with this shit
I'm really going to need you to stop yelling Campari.
He showed up on school grounds wearing nothing but a suit of armor. Really at this point I'm more impressed than angry.
I literally am filling up a victoria's secret bag with stuff that would give my parents a heart attack to hide in my roommates' room. This is being an adult when parents visit
We couldn't find her anywhere. Finally, I saw her sitting in my bathroom floor spraying hair mouse into her mouth and whispering "I fucking love whipped cream." WHAT DID YOU GIVE HER AND CAN I HAVE SOME?
Randomize
