id be glad to
i fell asleep on him beating off on webcam last night, i'm such a great boyfriend.
You dont ever try to use your dick as a power washer to get bits of poop of the toilet bowl?
I have diapers under my sink. trying to convince myself to use them.
ur roommate just sent me a pic of us fucking. i'm not coming over anymore.
It must be illegal for me to be this drunk in front of this many children
Dude. That is just waaaay to much random to process after that tequila battle.
I gasped. Both pairs of lips did.
Can we pretty pretty please go to Mardi Gras tomorrow? I promise I'll be a good girl and not puke in a pledges car
Officially drug you out of White Castle last night by the hood on your sweatshirt after you cussed out the attendant and stole the satisfaction guaranteed sign because they were closed!
And then we felt it necessary to continue drinking for another 4 hours, yikes
I wouldn't even cut tickets or put ppl in jail I'd just hand out punches to the mouth and Liam Neeson throat chops
His legs actually look hot in that dress. He might even make a better girl than Josh
Chick in the reindeer getup puked on Baby Jesus last night. But then she bought us all empanadas so she's cool.
I need you to teach me how to be roommates with somebody I'm not fucking.
the fact that I can still put my shoes on is a testament to the fact that I can outdrink these bros
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