I'm watching harry potter...good thing I already know I'm gay
so im in the parking lot of taco bell eating a taco...and some girl just got out of a car and screamed at the top of her lungs "XANEX FOR SALE!!!!" i fucking love Hamilton.
know what turns me on? long, stringy hair on a pasty looking girl with an overstuffed backpack and kneepads over her jeans in case she falls off her scooter
your less of a man for seeing that
Hold on there are flying pancakes I can't handle this right now
Is it a step in the wrong direction to ask my parents for a kegerator for graduation?
I don't think it counts as a walk of shame when it's someone you've wanted for 4 years. That's mission accomplished.
we should look into getting a golf cart for the weekend. i have a feeling legs wont be a sufficient source of transportation.
So, we bought a knight today. Nearly life size. Hes in the garage, so don't be startled.
At 2pm we are having a MANDITORY house meeting about last night. ALL must be in attendance!
I'd like to review the planning and execution of the party to determine how we hosted a naked party, to determine how we can have more.
Hooking up with him was lovely.. but waking up in his bed the next morning and finding double stuffed oreos... I mean.... I won
Mom told me you snuck booze into a concert in a cheez its box...I have never been prouder to be related to you
tell your brother to quit sending me his dick pics what am i going to do with them print them out and shove them up my ass???
It happend again, swimming on the floor... Vodka is my friend
ALL I WANT IS SEMEN IN/ON/AROUND MY BODY. WHY IS HE MAKING THIS SO HARD.
I'll text you tomorrow when I'm not in someone's torture cave if I don't by noon call for help.
Randomize
