Well I thought I'd be nice but yeah I'm not a fan of you either you're an arrogant stupid cocky unfunny loser. Don't talk to me you're crazy
We should go out drinking together soon
I'm still not going to have sex with you
Can I use you as a job reference? Don't tell them i got you fired cause I banged you tho
I left my Thanksgiving family dinner puking in my hands from the worst hangover in the world
considering I showed up there after a xanax, 2 bottles of champagne and some coke, no shirt and someone else s husband... I'm sure you can figure that one out.
It'll be like the burning bush except without moses and with pubes.
Then I realized I was alone sitting on the bathroom floor brushing my teeth at 2am laughing to myself.
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
Just saw a 300lb woman fall down. Shes screaming like a beached manatee. Her 120lb boyfriend is trying to push her up. It's like watching an infant try to bench
Its Nebraska, I'm sure im not the first person to wake up hungover in a corn field.
Please tell me that is you having sex in my car in my driveway and not a complete stranger.
Don't get me wrong, the sex itself is amazing, but I don't think I will EVER get used to her habit of singing lines Jesus christ super star when she is about to cum.
I'm sorry for breaking our door. And being a bitch about it.
I mean metaphorically. Literally zombies have yet to invade. Let's be rational here.
just turned another straight guy gay. Goddamn the church must hate me
Randomize
