i want to bang the Snorg tees girl.. shes always smiling ;)
her vagina looked like a handful of raisins.
I just made what I can safely estimate to be a 900 calorie pb&j. Fuck a serving size.
literally the only thing you kept saying was "i wish i had a beer keg vending machine that accepted hugs as payment" and everytime you said it you rubbed the urn her grandmother's remains were in
Is this girl REALLY making a smoothie in the bathroom right now?
Showing up to Easter hungover, late, and covered in black an blues from pole dancing. Daughter of the year.
I just smoked a joint and ate a sandwich while watching someone get arrested. Bonnaroo is a silly place.
She just started crying. With my dick still inside her. Something about her grandpa.
it's a rainbow of FUCK YOU
I just woke up in his bed.. in a cardboard castle, with a Justin Bieber poster on the ceiling staring down at me, cuddling with 4 empty PBR cans. I win.
My breath smells like gin and sadness
There way too many people in that club who have had their dick in me
she was just meowing in the corner eating frozen chicken nuggets
I've been eaten out in coupes, sedans, trucks, suv's, you name it. If I can do it in a smart car, you can do it in a vw beetle.
I knew you were the expert on doing it in public. You need to get paid for your advise
I would totally suck a dick for some poutine right now
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