Mel Gibson is dating a 24 year old
You're not Mel Gibson and I'm not 24.
literally had 100 drinks last night.
yeah seriously, fuck school. I'm changing my master's thesis question from "what are the neuropsychological correlates of antisocial personality" to "will my cat drink this beer"
the semester isnt officially over until i take the batteries out of my calculator and put them back into my vibrator
She's pissed. She declared she was moving out and proceeded to pack 3 pairs of shoes, her electric wine opener and ONE sock. Then told us to have fun paying her portion of the rent.
She's grinding on a deaf black man and I'm the interpreter.
should my break up email to my English professor be in MLA format?
just had a flashback of you pouring champagne into my mouth from someones balcony..
What happened to "I wouldnt even touch her with a ten foot pole"?
Her vagina devoured it.
I cant believe they held hands while getting simultaneous bjs
Mystery solved. Def had ice creme last night. There is a melted half eaten ice creme bar next to the bed. Which had melted onto my pillow. That explains why it was in my hair too. Im a fucking sherlock holmes over here.
Is there a coat check? I stole 10 vases of flowers along with two bottles of champagne and I'm not sure what to do with them.
Young lesbians are the worst. And also what got me through high school, sooooo
Booty calls should never involve the cops.
put something nutritious in your body. AND NOT JUST THAT JOINT.
Randomize
