I think we should boobie trap our beer this time using duct tape, rubber bands, seran wrap, and urine. Trust me I have a plan and it will work.
Five girls, one freshman pledge. We're like our own Make A Wish Foundation.
Their bromance is so intense that they don't even eye-fuck when they see each other....they eye-make-love.
i don't think it's normal to still be missing spring break.
How many weeks is it acceptable until I can start bringing freshman back?
It's four o'clock and my 60yo aunt's tits have already made an appearance and there is a dildo traveling around the room periodically assaulting family members. Strangely I am thankful.
She told me she's dating him because his apartment is a block from Taco Bell. I don't know how she's not fat.
Dear Jesus. Send me strength to not suck cock this morning.
I love 4am trips to the ER. I feel so responsible for actually making it all the way here.
There's a ton of international students in my suite and I'm just sitting in this chair with no pants on eating frosted flakes
I totally straight up jacked your pants. I am so sorry.
I guess I was blacked out I hopped a fence and hugged a cow that night.
I vaguely remember losing my underwear to 2 chicks in a bathroom. That drunk.
I am googling "notable people who had syphilis"
You tryed convincing the salvation army bell ringer you could do the worm and face planted into the sidewalk... I put a dollar in the can for your performance
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