Hey, what are you up to?
Drinking wine with the guys and watching 7 Pounds.
Looking back I guess I could have changed that to beer and Die Hard.
This is a mass text. Does anyone know where I am?
It feels like he gave my taint an indian burn.
i dont even feel safe using a push mower...that hungover
I'm 50% weirded out and 50% into it
please, i've had weekends with less dignity than this.
she pretty much pinned my hand to her boob "on accident" for like 10 seconds before she moved. Waiting the rest of the night was just a formality.
How the fuck you gonna play love don't cost a thing in a strip club?
I should rephrase... I'm trying to not sit on other peoples faces besides my boyfriends.
I'm working on a search warrant...can u pick up box of Chardonnay...I'll give u cash when u get here...
Yea... I love that ur a prosecutor and drink box wine
You partied and then got cock slapped, Don't tell me you didn't have fun
I can't believe i lost my ID... bringing my birth certificate to the club was a weird experience
I just fell down my stairs, guess that's how my sunday is gonna go
I'm now consulting a magic eight ball on all major life decisions. On another note I think I have chlamydia.
Like my mom really needs to know just how non existent my sex life is
Randomize
