Nobody needs to come anywhere. Except on your face.
just cut a line with my blood donor card...i feel like it will help remind me that i was once a productive member of society.
The best part is that he made someone stop their workout to take pictures of him, specifically so he could put them on facebook. That is an unparalleled level of douchebaggery.
i just masturbated in footie pajamas. there's no judgement here.
I heard liver failure is in for 2012 anyways
I just laughed at the word pudding. I have no idea whats going on right now.
Haha keeping the dream alive until Chinese New Year. I'm jobless with stitches in my face.
On the way out the door to work grabbed the wine glass on the floor left for the ghost of Elijah and chugged it. PASSOVER.
i just found my fake in the snow. LIFE IS AWESOME
There is absolutely a 0% chance my hips will make it out of this twerking business fully functional
I just want him to get into an accident where he's horribly disfigured but otherwise fine so he's not so freaking handsome
if you and your penis don't hurry up, I'm getting drunk without you.
I have to stay away from bourbon. Despite what it keeps telling me, it is NOT my friend.
Legal advice please. Can you sue someone for jerking off to photos of you?
Please tell me why we have been neighbors since elementary school and waited until the night before I moved to fuck.
Randomize
