Ambien. No doubt about it.
I hate bills.
Like ones you have to pay or people named William?
I just saw some girl with the liscense plate "OBVIII"...I never wanted to get in a car accident so badly.
I didn't know it was possible to make picking up dog shit look sexy.
She did the bend and snap...
Don't play hard to get, I've seen some of the girls you've slept with.
He's got a wife and three kids but I'm into being that mistake.
What can I say, your life is charmed. I'm on the couch trying to decide whether or not to puke again.
Do you remember calling me a cuntasaurus rex last night?
I feel like everything I touch in this bar I'm gonna get hepatitis. my kinda joint
Just found bud in my hair....gotta love curls
I can HEAR him staring at your boobs.
Watching Faye Reagan porn all weekend for St Patty's day. Nothing has ever seemed more appropriate.
So I'm at home coloring while smoking a joint. It can only go down hill from here.
We power houred with shots of red wine. Somehow we ended up with 7 bottles and lost Chris. Trying to find him this hungover is proving very unsuccessful.
I'm a shining star this evening. Dancing with a cane in rite aid now. I should be kept under survaillance.
Randomize
