I like my sex mixed with concussions.
I don't know where I am but there are firefighters
I like when I have the chance to say normal things like 'I know her from college' vs 'I did a ton of blow with her one night at Studio B.'
I think the pivotal moment was when we used the see and say as a drinking game with shots of whiskey. It was all downhill after that.
we're going to drop off one of our cars at the police station tonight so we'll be able to drive home in the morning
Getting drunk and throwing things at people isnt the same with you not here. Remember when you dislocated my elbow and then popped it back in in one motion?
I'm confident that their children would come out as 100% authentic rats
I feel very compelled to cut off the person's ears that is sitting in front of me
also had sex in his sister's princess style bunk bed.
but you are a princess that one was appropriate.
That was a very uncomfortable conversation to have without pants on. But his mom was pretty cool about it.
Why the fuck is there a picture of us jumping a girl that's wearing my chicken mask?
Pretty sure my boner drove me home. Like it didn't just do the steering it was the gas and brake too..
I was so fucked up last night that I peed on his FATHER'S BED and fell asleep there. and yes. his father was asleep in the bed
He accepted my bet of 5 bucks to bike home completely naked. Never got asked about the 5 bucks, guess he enjoyed it too much
Soon to be ex is nowhere to be found. Her attorney/new BF just showed up. 30 minutes late looking hungover. Pretty sure I'm getting the kids AND the house!
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