I have a pretty basic diameter of my vaginal abyss. I'm sure it won't hurt.
My clean wipe streak was ended today by two enchiladas and a can of refried beans. dammit i should have been more cautious. thanks for all ur encouragement and support.
She kept screaming "yeah! You pick up my books!" the whole time. . .
I woke up around 30 bottles of beer, with a piece of aluminum foil in my hand, that had "you Win" Wrote in sharpie..
and now I know what throwing up pineapple chunks is like.
Yeah, we had those soaking in vodka for like 36 hours
outstanding.
Just made a makeshift menthol by rolling a listerine strip into a regular cigarette... Poor? Who, me?
Robert just walked in drunk, grabbed my Jameson from me, told me to let him do his thing, and spilled it all over the coffee table. Then he told me to grab a funnel because he was going home.
Really stoned me is having a very serious, intent conversation with my mom about egg rolls and koolaid flavors.
Most desperate stoner moment; dropped our hard earned resin ball in the sand, rinsed it off and then did knife hits in the kitchen cuz we broke our only pipe
He's hitting it raw. Might as well stick his dick in a vat of SARS at this point.
Hey are you going to the pride parade? If so get me a shit ton of condoms
CSI Miami is on and the guy is trying to save this woman who got shot. By stripping off his shirt & belt. THE WOMAN NEEDS YOUR PANTS OFF TOO
Thanks for the Beyonce article. In other news, I just passed a man with the state of Florida tattooed on his face.
Once again being low on toilet paper is forcing us into another round of our favorite game - toilet paper roulette - where there can only be 1 winner. Maybe.
Its honestly only a matter of time before I punch him in the face... I'll try to control myself until you guys break up
Randomize
