So we tried to 69 with him on top. NEVER TRY IT. His balls were in my eyes and it was terrifying.
I wish my period boobs were my regular boobs.
please dont make me drink to the titanic soundtrack
Iranian Rapper, camaroonian basketball player, mexican i forget and indian doctor....this one looks the best on paper.
I'd like to introduce you to my friend, Moderation. Enjoy each other's company this weekend.
Your friend and I already don't get along
Chipotle. Because when you've had diarrhea for 6 days why not just make it 7
I'm really sorry that I blew your friend in your bed, but to be fair he started it.
Thought I was doing makeup today for a photo shoot for a short film. WRONG. Try I'm on the set for a Fucking Sci-Fi PORN.
Happy Birhtday!
Dad, it's 3am and it's not my birthday... wherever you are, go home
There is a guy in class using a wine bottle as a water bottle. Welcome to the Faculty of Environment.
Come get your pancakes and take a nap in my boobs.
THIS FUCKNUGGET
DOES HE EVEN REALIZE HOW MANY INCREDIBLE INSULTS I'VE WASTED ON HIM
I'VE INSULTED THE EVERLOVING SHIT OUT OF HIM AND HE CAN'T EVEN APPRECIATE IT
THE HO
I have to close one eye, because I don't wanna see two movies, I only want to see one.
I refuse to fake an orgasm. If I'm dating him, he better work for that shit.
So i dislocated my knee but still went home and fucked his brains out. Nothing gets in the way of my sex life. NOTHING.
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