called my therapist. she asked if I was sad bc of m.j.'s death. are ppl that pathetic?
you need more empathy. some people get depressed for reasons OTHER than being a whore.
What would Jesus do? ... Jesus would slap a ho.
So someone hacked my email and facebook and posted a boob pic I took a few years ago as my profile picture. I feel like an MTV commercial.
After he told me that it's up to him to carry on his family name, I almost felt bad for not letting him cum inside me.
im sorry, I just can't fuck a guy who can't receive picture messages
No fireworks. Throwing the old microwave off the deck.
I'm one ex away from doing an entire victory lap of all of the guys I've hooked up with since second semester of freshman year. Single me is scary.
cheese fries, coffee, with a side of dry heaving in the bathroom at the diner on campus at 5am. never felt better.
Our 450 pound cab driver smells like McDonalds and sunblock with a touch of vodka. Correction I smell like vodka.
That is NOT what pussyfooting around means. Try that again with your toe and I break it off.
If a baby can come out of it, so can four raquetballs.
I don't know what to say to that. All I know is my vagina is trying to jump through the phone.
You threw up on his face 22 hours ago and now he's here holding your hand. I think he likes you.
You're the best thing in my life, followed closely by cannabis and trashy romance novels
It was 3 am when she drunkenly tried to deep-fry a banana.
How'd she do that?
Randomize
