Whoa! I think of you when I eat cottage cheese.
Just made ouyt with a dude on the real wporld...I said I dont want my face blired out
I need to talk about my life with someone. Preferably with someone who hasn't tried to jizz on me
Still can't believe they give people like us a drivers license and college degree.
Yeah, all the sudden I heard a loud "ding" and realized I had been passed out on the dorm elevator for about an hour....
Washing vom off hardwood, so much easier than carpet. Thank you adulthood!
Do you think it's illegal to work at a bar if you're on probation for a DUI? I need a night job where I can meet men.
He was rocking just a diaper, shoes, and a gun. Sadly, I would still hit it.
Guess who just got out of a ticket because the cop liked her costume? THIS GIRL.
I'm beginning to worry that I seem to get along best with people when I'm naked with them.
Welcome to the single world where it seems vibrator batteries are in short supply and making a sandwich while naked at 2am is relatively normal
We helped him hit the bowl to the point that he didn't even have to move
I just had a flashback to us shaking up Gatorade mix and then inhaling it in your kitchen because it was funny. Now I can't stop laughing in work because that is the stupidest shit.
I cannot handle Xanax... I just turned my computer on and I googled how to work YouTube
Okay so I've been talking to the mice again and they agree with me that you're a piece of shit.
Randomize
