I just didn't expect you to be so naked....
that's just what I need...drunk ass people throwin hatchets in the dark.
I puked for half an hour, but I went and danced afterwards, and that made me feel better.
You are so irish.
Let's review the facts-we're bored, we have a ton of beer, and we live 5 minutes from the zoo. This equation is easily solvable
Call me when you wake up. I wanna start drinking but I'm giving up hope on my life if I drink alone before 10 am
You did that scary laugh you always do when you're blacking out except she's never heard it before and though you were choking and screamed at all of us when we didn't call an ambulance
I'm not a horrible person, I just see what everyone chooses to politely ignore.. And occasionally say it aloud whilst deeply intoxicated.
I am still sore from last night. I can't wait for you to meet my parents.
If the river was whiskey, it would be the best river ever.
Well if she's the kinda girl that doesn't want you after seeing a pic of your balls squeezed together, she's not the girl for you.
I have to have sex on a bidet. I'm not sure what kind, but it's reason #4 for an Italian vacation!
I'm a professor! I can't be caught chasing the liquor with you hooligans once the undergrads have seen my face
This is not the first time I've recognized my body is subconsciously trying to make pizza.
Also, if you don't fuck me soon, I will die. I don't want to die like that.
I feel fine lol. I tried climbing a tree but the branch broke and I got arrested.
Randomize
