At an apparent methhead hillbilly bar and was smiling for a pic when one toothless wonder screamed "look at all them teeth"!
It saddens me that girls will never know the wonder feeling of pulling your sweaty nutsack off of your leg.
I dont know why I dont listen to you more often. He wont stop texting me. And his signature is "dancing with no panties on"
It's official. Every single female in their late teens and early 20s get their fb statuses from a pool of cliched "quotes" which all say, without saying, "boys treat me like shit, I know they do, but one day I'll find 'the guy' who will treat me right no matter how psychotic I am." Vom.
I got you a housewarming gift. It starts with "A" and ends with "bottle of Jameson"
I'm starting to blur the boundary between reasonable senioritis and self-destruction. Somewhat-openly hittin the flask in 11am class
I know it was you that I fucked last night... I can smell my disappointment all over the sheets
There's a guy in here whose face looks like it would be perfect between my legs.
I'm holding onto the sink for dear life. Pretty sure if Iet go I'll turn into a shit propelled man rocket.
Just turned down sex because it's a holy day of obligation, my mom would be proud.
I'm trying to puke quietly so i don't ruin my grandma's birthday/my graduation brunch. And you say i need to grow up.
So after the absinthe shots_____(fill in the blank area for me please)......
I should probably add her on Facebook for as much as I cheat off her in Physics, huh?
I would like to make it known to all of you that my penis is official retired, but it thanks you for the countless years of service you provided
This is what I get for listening to Christians.
Randomize
