Okay just took the preggers test..and im NOT! :)
awesome babe! drinks tonight!
Wait does the happy face mean yes? fuck.
She needs to learn what's it like to have sex with someone and regret it the next day.
I'm basically sure i was the reason for glitter on his penis
mid-sex i was thinking.. these are not the right balls slapping me
Well, there goes the no drunk sex injuries resolution.
He had a curved dick....must be a european thing
Just took an adderall with a shot of tequila while doing my makeup in the parking lot at work before I go in. I'm also late. They're so lucky to have me.
its amazing there are so many photos of me and him separately, since most of that party time was spent sneaking away to fuck upstairs...
Still butthurt there's a framed picture of me passed out on the toilet in my grandparents' living room
Apparently I tried my hand at mustard juggling. I wasn't very good.
I don't think I'm allowed to have Burger King. What if i just chew for taste and not actually consume. Like a wine connoisseur for fast food
I bet, I woke up to you like naked at 4 in the morning shoving a sandwich in your face
I still can't get the taste of her nipples and the udon noodles out of my mouth
Like the fear of satan was put into my heart when I saw him put that sandwich on the WOODEN BENCH
So the makeout sesh? Not so great. His stubble rubbed my face raw, he tried to push me towards auto-erotic asphyxiation, and he licked my forehead. Twice.
Randomize
