I'm afraid that if I tell my sister I think Zachary Quinto is gay I'll have to put her on suicide watch for the next week or so
i just used burnetts to get spraypaint off the floor of my dorm lobby
Both he AND his 17 year old son were hitting on me... I'm bridging generational gaps
you just kept bragging about how there was a "pretty large" chance that you had pooped on the same toilet as George Clooney
He called his prostate his "boner button".
no one is here. wer drinking in the beer garden in the dark and we stole a bucket of blue paint off the sidewalk. now her legs are blue.
There is a nerf war going on here. I just cleaned the blood out of the fridge
Last I remember we played rock paper scissors for who would fuck the guy with cowboy boots on and I won..
I think that was him coming out to me. I just brushed it off
I think this is the rare instance where the babysitter should get sex as payment from the person being babysat plus you'll get birthday sex. It's a win-win.
She's calming us down by shoving oreos in our mouths
Your "dubstep at ceilis" resulted in a random naked guy busting into my room and peeing all over my bathroom
Back. Waiting on Thong the shuttle bus driver. THONG
This guy is like Don Jon! Im over here this weekend and at least four times I've heard porn on his phone thru the bathroom door.
I got so drunk last night I took a ice bath with my mother in law
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