Dude ... paraplegic porn is really creative..
Apparently they shut down a cook out cause people were selling drugsout the drive thru. Nice to be home
John Mayer's mother should have swallowed him when she had the chance.
As in blowjob or cannibalism?
I was thinking blowjob, but either would've been a better idea than giving him a record deal.
If they made snuggies with a sleeve for my morning wood, id consider buying one...
thanks for not screaming that I'm pregnant when that guy was giving me his number.
The only problem is i have violated all potential new years resolutions at the new years party.
You better drive. If I decide to let them talk me into a 3-way, I don't want you to be stranded.
I tried to tell him I love him but it came out something like "We're both fucked up and it works."
P.S. The slutty NASCAR driver costume will be saved and used year round for role play.
I think I fixed my testicle. That's why I didnt pay $25 for a doctor to do it
Yes, he did use his cock to direct traffic from my 3rd story window. That's why I love him
By this time next year I expect us to have full time jobs that we can call out of so we can day drink on beautiful days like this. Oh, and grill.
He's a fucking asshole. Who gives good head. And seriously I have never seen someone less committed to hair color
It's time you knew: I have been dating your probation officer for 7 months. Pretty certain he's THE ONE. So, thanks for being a criminal.
My drunk is wearing off and im starting to feel like this dolphin tattoo was a bad idea.
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