at some point to night u and I have a 'meeting' too...(1-737): I hope so
I just came so hard I farted. Twice. Thank God I'm alone.
Pretty sure that Albanian broad gave me something last night. Now we play the waiting game.
She threw all the patio furniture in the pool saying she was building a castle.
I tried to lock you in the bathroom stall because you were too drunk. But you escaped from underneath, I gave up
It's stupid hot. I just want to be laying in a bathtub full of margaritas
I can dry shave vagina like a champ
That basically sounds like the worst party of my life, and I'm including my brother's World of Warcraft themed birthday party.
My roomate has me out looking for easter kegs hidden arround town
'twas the night before moms weekend and all were blacked out. Not a coug was sober not even farm house. I was down to fuck but you were not in sight, so I bid pullmania a sweet goodnight.
First time for everything: started posting a Facebook comment, decided I'm not quite sober enough. Progress.
I threw up off of your balcony and it must have been loud because the dog downstairs went insane.
I texted him in the morning wishing him a day as spectacular as his dick was.
My boyfriend told me that I said I wanted to "feast on her vagina"... Glad I don't remember.
I made her pull the car over 5 times to puke because she was going to fast, apparently she was only going 30mph...
Randomize
