trsut me youll find me, im the only kanye west here and every1 is chanting dbag at me
I just took went to the bathroom and it smelt like blue curococo... I didn't flush yet so head on up if you wanna know what a good night smells like.
My dinner was lean cuisine and tequila. Aaaaaand I need a boyfriend.
its not thanksgiving till you and grandpa shotgun beers out in the shed, and lose
yea man just watch out- theres a shitload of broken glass in your bed
She started puking and I started running and I swear to god there was a wave of vomit chasing me down the stairs.
You couldn't find your shoe so you introduced yourself as Cinderella for the rest of the night.
Ahh that explains the text from creepy mike saying he would be my prince charming.
So glad I decided to show up and puke in your trashcan.
These are the moments that bond souls forever.
It was like an ecstasy filled massage for my vagina.
That's the best compliment I have ever received.
I made out with a guy who was dressed as Borat
And like a minute in, I was like oh fuck what am I doing
Did you run away?
I DANCED AWAY.
Keywords: shitstorm, police, jail.
IM HUNGOVER AT MOTHERS DAY BRUNCH AND A NUN FROM CHURCH JOINED US
So is seeing the guy's penis that I'm talking to something you're into or nah?
YOU'RE NOT THE ONE BEING EVISCERATED BY YOUR OWN UTERUS SO GET SOME DAMN SLEEP YOU FOOL!
I got there and she was on her balcony drinking out of a bottle of vodka and smoking a cigar.
Randomize
