Have you finally orgasmed yet?
This is evicking siegelnvs
Im sorry?
This is fucking ridiculous*
she woke up, said "please dont tell me your name, i dont want to remember it"
just saw the guy i hooked up with last nights' face on a billboard. win.
I blacked out the second time 3am rolled around. My brain was taking a beating trying to do that math.
I told them I got hit by a car again and now im pretty sure they think im being abused but there was no way in hell the truth was going to fly. Employed people aren't supposed to break their faces in piggy back ride accidents.
He had a shameless baby voice when he was talking to my dog. There's no way I'm making it through the night with my clothes on.
I asked if anyone's pants felt wet on the bottom, like a half hour after mine did. I had just peed my pants i had gotten so high no biggie
Ugh he's so pretty though. He bit my face at the bar because I tried to steal his ID and I forgave him
Apparently mr clean magic erasers don't clean blood off the ceiling
Bianca brought a stripper home he's making me breakfast
i’m just listening to christina aguilera’s “your body” on repeat and trying not to pass out at my desk.
She made me baby bird juul smoke to her while we were fucking
Just found out a shooting happened in our parking lot while it was closed this morning. So thaaaaaaaaats fun.
Came up to an intersection and someone was blasting My Chemical Romance at like 9 AM. They're DEFINITELY having a good day
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