If it were my dying wish, would you come over 2nite 2 save me?:):):) wana come anyways?
i'm sure her mom would have loved to find out her daughter has herpes via facebook
Only at my house do scrabble games turn into fist fights. I won though... the fight not the board game.
Dude I was fucking my girl on the couch and her dog came up and licked my balls. Does that mean we just had a threesome?
I just asked my hair stylist how many percocets she'd do my hair for.
It's 3 am and my parents just came up the driveway in a limo. They didn't leave in a limo. I'm scared to even ask.
she might purposely get aids just to give it to you. I think she might hate you that much.
We sold so many girl scout cookies when we were little. What went wrong?
I want to let you in on my two latest life goals. Have a photograph of me squirting whipped cream into a midget's mouth, and have sex on a roof.
Her hair goes down to her lower back and nobody was there to held it back for her. She looked like chewbacca dipped in vomit.
Just applied for assistance with paying my hospital bill from my alcohol poisoning at age 16 while still a little drunk from last night. What is my life.
Circle of life?
Aside from the possibility of pregnancy, I'm going to call last night a raging success.
It's getting to the point where my ability to get dick pix during the work day is impressing even me. Take that, adulthood!
i'm not so sure everythign we did last night was legal...
Here when you come to your senses come back here and I'll fuck you back out of them.
Randomize
