Also, new rule: You are no longer allowed to send me a text with the word "dildo" in it before 10am.
So after I was tied with a feather boa he left me there with KFC and cherry coke
We just filmed our own version of iron chef. The secret ingreient was whisky.
What did you cook with whisky?
We started a fire.
He was barking to the beat of "I like to fuck" and then chugged 3 beers and fell off the deck.. I should have gotten community service hours
That hot guy i showed you guessed my exact bra size. I want to have his tan babies.
Don't get me wrong, the sex itself is amazing, but I don't think I will EVER get used to her habit of singing lines Jesus christ super star when she is about to cum.
He asked me not to hook up with anyone else because it would hurt his feelings.. while his arm was around his pregnant girlfriend.
2 hours later, she made her cat watch the waterfall scene from Homeward Bound to teach her how good she has it here.
Who are you, and why are you in my phone as Elf on the Shelf
Also... I'm unsure what to do with my face while someone is choking me during sex. Like I feel like its hard to look flattering.
I'm pretty sure NORMAL roommates don't have to hide each others sex toys from their fuck buddies.
woke up to my little sister's best-friend's boyfriend in my bed, but how's your saturday going?
It was an interesting experience to have sex while there was a triathlon going on right outside my bedroom window because it sounded like everyone is cheering for you in bed.
How supportive!
It took me an hour to walk from my drive way to my front door... what the fuck was in that weed?
I'll pick u up. I have to buy a new sofa cover anyway. I swear I've never seem a girl cum like that before.
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