we dont do blackfin have a good night :)
i told him that if he starts being sappy its friends = off. he called me jerkface and drew on me w permanent marker. im either in love w him or we are twelve.
apparently the 911 operator took drunk dialing waaayy too seriously
got in a fight at the bar because some dude thought i was being sarcastic when i told him "sweet mustache". it really was a sweet mustache
i mean i should have known that when i started taking shots with my zumba instructor i was in for a rough night...
She calls me Shortcake and bites my ear. Trust me, I'm FINE with bein the secret lesbian lover.
She just pulled out a chicken strip and a hundred dollar bill from her purse. This is a legit twentyfirst bday weekend.
Have your arms or hands ever gone numb after drinking too much?
Wtf did you do last night?
Terrible hangover + phoenix airport + pizza hut....I think I might have entered one of the levels of hell.
I think the exact words were 'I'd lett him to the weirdest shit to me'
Oh you know, the usual. We had a good date, I took her back home, she took off my pants, laughed, and left.
Omg cinnamon bun Oreos. Thanks weed
I would wear his ballsack as a hat if he asked me to
You know the bunny onesie you sent me? Happy Halloween, I just did the hop of shame.
You are talking to me during sexting hours. Be careful, innuendos are taken seriously
Randomize
