I'm more concerned as to why he has a playlist entitled Dem Club Beats.
Woke up on the floor with my glow stick in one hand & dollar bills in the other. Good. Morning.
Ahhh November 1st. National Untagging Day
Never thought I'd say this but I just want to go home, ice my balls, and pop a Vicodin.
took adderall before wrapping presents, ended up making paper snowflakes for two hours
Every shot buddy I have I end up blowing. I don't know whether this pattern is good or bad.
We just reached that moment of the night when you start making cookie quesadillas. Party on Wayne
this dude just showed up to the party with a falcon
Oh my god. A memory of last night just came to me. One of our neighbors joked about Thomas having a big dick and I just kept shaking my head profusely.
I ate the crust off the pizza and left the rest in the box. Even I would hate me.
The Uber driver took us to a Waffle House. We didn't even say anything when we got in. MAGIC.
Also a shrinking boner emoji would be helpful
That's the 3rd guy I've made pass out from a bj. I may have super powers.
I'm sitting here drinking whisky and listening to The Wiggles, I don't need a social life
I just bought a slurpee and condoms. God bless America.
Randomize
