you dont need to remember merediths name haha. only jane
Have you not heard of Jennifer's supreme lust for William Shatner? She wants to eat Taco Bell off of his love handles
it wouldnt have been so bad but she still had the cowboy hat on when my mom walked in
finally achieved: got laid in the religion section of borders. thought you should know.
when does it stop being whiskey dick and start just being me bad in bed?
He told me he breastfed 'til he was six. That explains the obsession with me getting fake tits. Is it a red flag?
Made fish tank punch. It's like trash can punch but in a fish tank. Also, my dad saw a picture I uploaded on Facebook and called me a pussy for only making 10 gallons.
He really thought ahead and just left the tequila in the mail box for late night pickup. Best. Friend. Ever.
the other day i was so high i found pages and pages of pictures of HD hamburgers and patriotic music. bong rips for merica.
Last thing I remember was a hand in the pants. Then I woke up next to a full beer and a McDouble, which I promptly had for breakfast.
Being in nursing school really pays off when your dealer tries to pass off naproxen as Percocet. Like I may have made a C in pharm but I aced the pain drug test
Wait I can't come yet Mr. Brightside is playing
ok i defs just took my shirt off in the middle of a frat party though so keep me updated
Man I gotta stop stashing shit when I'm high. I just spent 2 hours searching for my bag of pot and eventually found it in fucking a bandaid box.
The house across the street caught on fire today, Drunk people high centered their car tonight. Looking out my front window I get to watch police chases all the time. I am going to miss this place.
I am that special "drink water and be grateful I'm alive" kind of hungover
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