that john and kate plus 8 dude has ruined asians for me
**i WaNt TO sLaP mY niECe wHO ThINks iT iS cUte tO WriTE LiKE tHiS**
He only uses me for sexual pleasure. The sad part is I don't even feel like a slut. I just I feel like I should just live in the top drawer of his nightstand....for free of course.
I just googled the nutrition facts for a mcgriddle and yet I still want to go to mcdonalds
I just found 51 cents in my bed. Did you leave me a tip?
Showering in the handicapped shower. Im THAT hungover.
While we were having sex he told me "this is what you get for not parking my car right" I have never drove his car. He was that kind of weird.
THAT DOESN'T MEAN YOU SHOULD LET ME CHUG VODKA.
Whatever. He's going to tie me up tonight whether he wants to or not.
Well my door is unlocked for you, I'll be in the bathtub drinking a pre-mixed bottle of margarita until I forget the degree to which my life sucks.
How was your 8:30 class today?
Non existent. I just threw up in my water bottle on the bus.
Malibu has added tequila to its rum. It's like when two beautiful gaybies come together an spawn a unicorn that only cries jellybean tears.
I like to get drunk just like anyone else but not to the point of sticking a rubber tube up my asshole
Full disclosure. I fucked the fatty from work and shit is weird now.
In retrospect, vomiting out of a moving vehicle on the third date should have been a deal breaker
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