and you think what you did last night was bad? at least you didnt go wake up a sleeping guy for birthday sex.
Did we fight the bathroom girl ? She just wanted to give us lotion and condoms.
Some guy dressed like Santa just handed me a bottle of tequila. I NEVER WANT TO LEAVE CANCUN
2000 dollars has been put in for bail money. Also we're signing contracts
She wants me to spank her and yell "Kerry! Your father is disappointed with your choices!" Fuck up but crazy hot? Or just fuck up crazy?
i'm sad to say... seems like women around here set up their armageddon booty calls ahead of time. wanna fill all these condoms with tequila and head downtown???
Well, somebody (me) put on reindeer antlers, crawled around on the floor, and meowed at people... So yeah, I'd say it was "one of those nights"
I've never seen a dude bust out of his jacket and rock an air banjo like u
Attempting to sleep without a bra since i got my nips pierced wish me luck. Also almost sent that to my coworker.
Me and Jason had to grab your legs and arms and drag you in the house. You kept screaming "leave me for dead"
Well there's only 4 people in my class, we've watched a video, the instructors encouraged us to start using cocaine and now we are on break.
It's been productive.
I just used my vibrator to scratch my back. This being single shit is for the birds
Just please don't close your legs while I'm down there again. I don't want my death to be labeled as "Head crushed while giving an individual cunnilingus".
I'm happy I peed in your laundry basket last night
i just swapped my iPhone for a happy meal. this is greg btw, the hooker let me borrow her phone
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