There's a 34yo winking at me. Why do i find this weird when my bf is a 38yo married man?
ofcourse shes the first one pregnant. wasnt she the one who asked the middle school health teacher how many calories are in sperm?
I have a music final in an hour so I put all the classical songs we need to know in a shower power hour playlist, beer included.
He kept coming back from the bar with hotter girls and just left with two...I feel like I just witnessed something amaZing. Like meeting Jesus and finding out he has no morals either
he tried to do a one handed cartwheel to showoff but knocked himself out cold. fuckin jagerbombs will kill that man.
My bruised ribs were so worth that win in beer pong
A girl just told me she printed out my pictures and taped them on her wall. I have to stop sleeping with virgins.
I just remembered that he had fake blood all over his face last night. I woke up with it all over my dick. He was 50. Please don't judge me.
Saturday evening, however, will be my vodka and bubble wrap extravaganza.
my question is who was more confortable? You sleeping on the floor or me tweeting from a bush?
Who has the safety vest from this past weekend Additionally, who has the dancemaster glove?
It's like sleep walking but with blowjobs
Its guy fieris flavor town of suffering™
You have to just make a conscious effort not to make out with people when he's around if you want to keep him in your life?
Hey do you remember me?
You were a giant banana.... how could I forget.
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