He yelled GOOOOAAAALLL when he came.
I just watched the Dark knight, Maggie Gylennhaal looks like Katie Holmes after a stroke
i was sitting in the back seat of her car with her boyfriend while she was driving. it was pretty awkward, but i dont think "so my dick's been in your girl's mouth too" was a good ice breaker
Be honest with Daniel. He was a good rebound to you for nine months and he made it so you could be with the one you really love and care for now. Just tell him thanks and best of luck.
Not enough clothes on. Not enough vagina. Not enough drugs in my body.
you kept yelling "this bitch stole my phone" to the guy who found you passed out in the parking lot
Fucking her was like skydiving commando in a flightsuit made of kittens
I put tequila in my salad dressing yesterday. Step the fuck up.
Those drunk pictures you took of me? My mom is showing those to my grandparents.
I found her face down on the kitchen floor asking anybody who walked by for Kraft Dinner
Sangria Flip Cup was probably one of our worse drunken decisions
You got this. You survived the RA last semester (granted you almost got arrested but still.)
Nobody wants to date "Eats Taco Bell Secretly In Her Car" Girl
I was about to break it off with him because I realised he only wanted me for sex, until I realised that I only wanted HIM for sex. Win/win
I'm legitimately the first person in the United States to successfully shave their balls with a Razer Blade of a sword and fully admitt it. I'm honestly smoother then a 10 year old.
Randomize
