Culvers...So Good
So good. The butter burgers slip right outta my ass.
I wish my grandma would stop using the phrase "he pulled out" when she's talking about her contractor quitting his job.
I just left the house and 2 chicks are in the kitchen making breakfast. Might want to get up.
I'm up, no shirt, and staring at a breakfast casserole. Who are these girls?
I'm reading about reasons for wearing clothing. IS THIS COLLEGE OR PRESCHOOL?
awesome recipe for disaster- bar hopping at the airport
Can we hire someone to dj while we have sex?
Lots of alcohol last night skiing this morning = me throwing up off chairlift
I was just handed a bible on my walk of shame....are you there god? its tequila tuesday's hangover
Apparently we don't communicate very well unless we're drunk and/or naked
THIS THING HATES MY LIVER
Definitely accidentally brought drugs into Disneyland. Considering using them.
I wrote myself a note last night telling me to tell you that you're the best person ever, and asking you not to tell me what I did, I think I'm trusting my drunk judgment on that one.
I woke up and there is a small Irish man playing call of duty in my room. Discuss.
I met up with trey last night. He whispered in my ear "I love you" then raised his voice and said "but not in a I want to marry you kind of way, but if you died I would cry."
I might be getting fired on this week so the only option i see for tonight is to get smashed and have an orgy. actually this idea might explain why i'm not an ideal employee.
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