i woke up with someone drivers licenses in my wallet this am...he said i don't have a business card so just take my drivers license
im at planned parenthood. the form wants to know what our usual form of contraception is?
anal.
It's refreshing to see you in something that is stained with something other than vomit and spilled alcohol.
She had her laptop open and there was microsoft word opend and all was written was "no italianoo"
I'm not sure if you saw my recent facebook update, but I have already put the Radio Flyer wagon to good use. I had someone pull me to the nearest bar.
Do you think a former stripper/heroin addict constitutes as a high risk sexual partner?
Hate is such a strong word! I prefer to think that you strongly dislike me due to the honesty I show towards your routine shortcomings of success in life.
Forgot to tell you--the bartender at Crowbar set his arm on fire last night. He was doing this "Cocktail" bartender trick of pouring alcohol that was on fire between glasses. Then some leaked out, onto his arm, and set his arm on fire, then his shirt. Exciting! (And he's ok).
Back. Waiting on Thong the shuttle bus driver. THONG
My aunt left me alone with the instructions to "get waisted" by the time she returns. I love drunk aunt.
still not dressed at 5:00, jacking off watching men's figure skating and hoping my weird roommate doesn't walk in. anybody who says idk how to have fun is wrong
Just got a motivational speech from the tacobell drive thru guy at 2am
I have to make calls today at work. So I'm gonna call your phone and leave some random messages. Just delete them.
I have no idea what to do with myself since we graduated.
I've just been napping and sexting all day.
The shrooms were awesome. Everyone's bones in their face looked so beautiful! Everyone had great face structures.
Randomize
