the only time it's appropriate to sing In The Air Tonight by Phils Collins is while sake bombing at Cal Beach
um or while having sex on a train
Superbowl + Mdma, hope we're on the same page.
what part of “beer fountain” do you not understand
Guy next to me at the plasma center is high and watching porn on his itouch. I am wayy to hung over for this level of poor.
Also, the wait staff kept prematurely clearing my Manhattans. Not sure if it was an oversight or a hint.
I really wasn't that bad. I thought I was pretty tame.
When Anthony passed out you poured vodka on his face
friends don't put videos of other friends on youtube puking on their professor on the first day
Ya these assholes wanted to like sit around and eat cupcakes and watch the notebook. I was like fuck you, I want to go make some people uncomfortable in public.
I think I'm too tall to 69 successfully.
I think I might cry.
She's cute. And her snoring noises remind me of the incidental music from Jaws.
He said he's in to distance fucking. I thought he just mean long durations. We fucked on a towel all the way down his tile hallway accross his kitchen and into the living room
I'm trying to behave my vagina this week so I can at least pretend I'm honoring the sanctity of marriage
Uess honpr I rememebrt hEzS cuter
You'll have to translate that into sober in the morning.
how the FUCK did i spend 25 dollars at 50 cent beer night?
Jesus fucking Mary Christ if I have to clean shit out of my fucking bathtub one more fucking time I'm gonna murder a fucking kitten
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