his facebook status quotes britney spears so there is always that
I need like a "Cookong High for Idiots" book. Or a car.
I just convinced a girl to drink my spit cup cuz I said it was dark beer and would get her drunk faster. I dare you to try something better.
he literally just asked me which v neck he should wear tomorrow.
found out this morning via facebook that the guy i met last night has a wife and a baby and he took me to his apartment where he takes girls to cheat on his wife
i mean you met him at the daytona 500
just went to the store to buy a mop & tampons. i feel like i just gave in to all those women jokes.
you yelled "who's job is it to keep me from breaking shit" and then immediately ripped off the molding as you fell down the stairs.
It would be like bopping for an apple with my penis but never winning an actual prize. The only thing I would get from it would be the joy from taking part but then regretting it forever more
you can hold your grudge or you can accept the alcoholic treats as a peace offering. your choice
peace be with you.
When my parents ask if I met any nice guys in California, I'm going to answer, "No, but I have gone home with alot of nice girls". Too much, too soon?
I just can't even fathom the crazy and I work at a mental hospital.
1. Everyone on the 1st and 3rd floor heard you. 2. The 3rd floor vibrates when we have sex. 3. The 1st floor can hear the bed squeak.
My neck feel like I've been sucking Goliath's dick.
my roommates gone so i can take codeine and sleep naked
A total of 3 guys left my apartment this morning. That was my first clue to my black out endeavors last night. Gotta love wine Wednesdays.
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