No gym. Sooooo hung over. Just puked up the water I drank and it still has ice cubes in it.
When you get home we need to compare our schedules and set up masturbation slots. I'm scares of you walking in on me. Again.
Judging by the amount of alcohol multiplied by the amount of her exes here, tonight will be ending in tears.
I woke up in your car in the McDonalds parking lot. What the hell happened to 'no man left behind'?
This is the most scared i've been of my hands since i did shrooms.
Can we put your name for the shipping address for penis ice luge?
I was mixing candy canes and coors light and was in a great place.
Dunno why I keep hitting snooze. It's never gonna give me the kind of sleep I need to be sober.
Goddamnit Shari. He's not called Pencil Dick because he's good a sketching...
She asked if she should pack the condoms, I told her I plan on drinking so much that it won't be possible.
Overall a good night - broke my toe giving that cop a blowjob though...so there's that...
he drove over two hours to fuck me and came in 3 minutes. he got mad when I asked him if it was worth it...
he told me that I'm basically going to be the mom of the house when they move in...i like to see it as being a MILF without the responsibility of real children
Apparently walking into a national conference and proclaiming "i'm here to fuck shit up" is frowned upon.
Who knew?
If he isn’t into CosPlay he will be after tonight. That naughty nurse outfit heals broken hearts
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