he made me salute his american flag boxers before i took them off
I'm going to let the use of the word "hella" slide considering I have sperm older than you.
I've been deciding between brands of bagels for 20 minutes. This why I doint smoke weed.
I was gonna make fun of her but that plan kinda stopped once she put my dick in her mouth
she kicked me out for pissing in the recycling bin. I mean, is it really THAT big of a deal?
I'm guessing "whatever I can get" wasn't the reply the nurse wanted when asking what med I need. Oh, and asked for a cartoon band-aid.
She can't really be mad at me. I made you two sisters... Dick sisters.
I feel like shaving is just admitting i'm gonna do him, even though im still on the fence
shave. it'll take 10 min. Better safe than hairy.
The only way i can get arrested is public drunkenness or defacing a national monument. Trust me, i have already looked it up.
I'm considering failing out of my last semester of college just so I can keep fucking him.
THERE ARE ENTIRELY TOO MANY HOT UNDERAGE GIRLS HERE FOR THIS TO REMAIN LEGAL.
Someone just got kicked out of the mall for being dressed like a giant cat. I feel like this is in your future.
I am currently in a U-Haul truck right now. Going to a party. I hate myself.
The sex definitely would have been a perk. But not sitting in a ditch was what I was going for...
I should probably just LinkedIn request everyone I've ever slept with so they stop popping up on my suggested connections list
Randomize
