So my shaver died while I was trimming...ya know. And now it is half way done. I don't think there's currently any aesthetic in keeping it this way...
is it a bad sign that i now think of my run-ins with cops as "skill building seminars"?
um, yeah. i think it is.
is it wrong that i plan on stealing a few pipecleaners from my preschool classroom to clean my bowl?
Two girls I have never met just thumb wrestled to decide who gets to make out with me.
I can feel the fear and stress bubbling in my stomach. Or maybe that is the pregnancy.
That place is a DUI and an STD waiting to happen. I think I'll pass.
Oh just chilling alone with a stranger baby while everyone else clambakes the bathroom. Probation is the reason there is bad things in the world.
"Clean/organize my room day" turned into "Blast my old Jock Jams cds while getting high as fuck with a strobe light day"
She asked if I wanted to "Mormon Motorboat" her, which I guess is just motor-boating her through her cloths. Turns out I did.
Is eating fries while lying on the floor bad for you?
If I choke and die at least I will have been doing something I love
I'm just sayin. If your gonna cheat go for someone TOTALLY different. Fucking her twin would be a waste.
ever bang a guy wearing an $800 suit? today you will.
I feel like this is something I should shave my legs for
Alex I've come up with a new medical condition. dick depression. it's a real thing and I have it
My lease is up and I've been thinking, it's only fair that the guys I've fucked in this apartment in the past year help me move. They enjoyed the bed, now help me move it.
I added our drug dealer to the quickbooks software babe, he is listed under vendor's as an expense category... money management is such a bitch...
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