Her little brother was home, so we had to hook up while playing hide and seek with him
i cant wait for all this BS that is happening with Tiger to happen to Tebow
we found you under the sink... we opened up the doors and you told us to go away because you were playing indian in the cupboard
As one final fuck you to the courthouse i'm paying the rest of this ticket with sacajawea coins.
After a couple hours you decided you were going to walk home but ten minutes later you called and said you'd puked by the side of the road and you needed us to drive you to the art museum.
Couldn't find any balloons, so we're doing whippets out of condoms. Being a ho has its benefits.
Why is hotel staff askin about the blood in our room
I ate 12 cupcakes in less than 24 hours, so no judgement here.
I think it's god's punishment for my behavior in Vegas . Lies were told. Angels were defiled. Pools were pissed in
I have random bruises including my spine and visible bite marks on my neck. Thanksgiving car sex accomplished.
Hahahaha who is sleeping in the garage on our beer pong table?
There is a pool of ranch salad dressing in my purse...I know thats always been something you've wanted to try..so don't even act like you didn't do this.
She tied me to the bed and did lines off my chest before sex. I’m going to put that on my bucket list just so I can cross it off
I know she’s pissed I fucked her husband, but I didn’t know he was married until after I blew him at Legoland
They were playing some sort of fast food scavenger hunt game as an ice breaker. Some chick stamped a Starbucks logo on my hand and told me to go find the girl with the matching stamp and fill her with cream.
Dave had an Arby’s stamp and some sorority girl grabbed him and screamed “I’ve have the meat!”\n
Randomize
