ya ever know whats down there. always send some fingers in first to scout the situation. fingers are not used for pleasure. they're used for covert missions.
you were watching the nanny crying, saying I wish I was that thin eating twinkies. THAT DRUNK.
Sorry really high. We have no lighter so we're lighting the bowl with rolled up paper towels lit by candle which also lit with a rolled up paper towel that we lit with the stove eye
Either I'm deep cleaning my apartment out of severe academic procrastination or I'm subconsciously nesting and need to take a pregnancy test.
I do believe at one point I was dispensing medical advice while wearing your sombrero and a hulk hand
I'm always drunk lately
Now I'm in a game of hide and seek in Sears
First memory of my senior year: Going into registration still drunk from last night.
I'm not going to be your wingman while you are in the hospital.
i'll llet you know if at any point this night starts to make any sense
Yeah. That's the shitty part. God, I don't want to be a step mom. Sure I'm great with kids, but I just want unlimited sex and not have to worry about making friends with a fucking 7 year old.
Trusting in Jesus is not a viable birth control plan.
I just wanna be euthanized
Thas it
I love that you put so much thought and effort into your nudes
I don't send half assed nudes. Go big or go home.
don't take offense to this but at the strip club tonight I legit believed one girl was you. almost hopped on stage and freaked out at you. you're a beauty.
In celebration of finishing my homework, lets drink tea w/ vodka
Randomize
