Either allow it in a formal toast or i will drunkenly tell your in-laws while i'm dancing on their table. either way, the truth is coming out
I'm wearing boardshorts as underwear to work. This is bachelorhood
there was 12 of us, girls included, shirtless and wielding swords as we bet on rock paper scissors in the middle of the bar. It was like Cinco de Mayo version of the Deer Hunter
He fell off a seesaw, tore half his ear off and somehow convinced the paramedic he was allowed to have a beer while being treated
I'd say I should re evaluate my life choices, but I'd make the same decisions only faster and wearing a push up bra.
It is 9pm, let the ass parade to the bars begin
Bone him for me, BONE HIM TWICE FOR ME.
Why am I getting texts saying are you ready for this butthole? Help
Drunk wound on my leg hast healed and neither has my dignity
Well as if this year didn't suck enough already, I can now count 2015 as the year I got chlamydia
No I kepy moaning and just called out a name to make them believe I was actually having sex instead of masturbating.
I'd call the fact I ended up in my own bed a huge success
That's because I've spent the past 21 years convincing my parents the only emotions I have are sarcasm and bitterness.
Legit sprained my cooter. No joke. Icing her down as we speak.
woke up, covered in gummy bears, with a note that said "the gummy army won"
Randomize
