I would have at least made out with you if you were showered.
She rolled a blunt with one hand...and instantly I had a boner, I'm going to marry this girl.
Vegas is awesome. Its like you have a kentucky accent girls automatically assume you don't have herpes.
Don't worry we did the "promise to get an abortion" handshake
I had to ask him for the scissors while I was in the shower. My hood piercing was stuck in my loofah.
Just ate a whole pizza by myself. Wearing my indian headdress again. its really cool with the french braids. I look like fucking pocahontas or some shit.
Just start grabbing cocks. It can't go wrong! Just say you thought you knew him and wanted to check.
He asked if he could pull one of my teeth "to remember me by"
I do have a life. It just consists of making scarves and chesse straws now
I'm going to pound you from behind over a table at the bar while I pull your hair and call you a whore...please pass along that message to Rob
This is how baked we were last night. Our drinking game: We stare at each other; first one to laugh drinks.
They are doing the auction. One of the items in the auction is a grenade launcher.
Threw up in hyvee parking lot. Thanksgiving shopping complete.
Yeah, I got home from work at like 9:30, and he was passed out on the couch wearing only a tee shirt and The Jurassic Park theme on repeat.
He's eating a sriracha ravioli sandwich. How do you think the night is going?
Randomize
