You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
i think the fact that he graduated high school the year i graduated elementary school is sexy.
im going to have to ask you to stop vomiting stars, rainbows, and butterflies all over your facebook statuses...
I need a DD tuesday morning around 9 AM
I'm scared to ask why.....
1st bikini wax. Jose Cuervo is helping me prepare.
This girl named her kid Rainforrest. If I die, just know it was from laughing so fucking hard.
i mean, i stole her boyfriend and beat her snake score on facebook within 48 hours. not her week.
We played "race the Jimmy John's driver". Order, then see if we can finish sex before the food arrives.
My neighbor asked me to tell you to stop changing in front of their house. Do I even want to know?
I don't think he knows what shame means anymore. He gave some bar slut his sisters Tiffanys necklace, in exchange for anal.
Drunk me cleaned my room for me. Needless to say our relationship has improved greatly
It felt like Party Santa dropped by and gave us two more 18-packs.
Woke up in her bed this morning with a half used condom stuck to the side of my face
How can a condom be "half used"?
We were escorted through the guys dorm by 5 kids with nerf guns and zelda shields. I felt like the president with a fucked up secret service squad.
I've sent two unsolicited tit pictures in less than 24 hours. I'm the female version of a fuckboy.
Was that you calling me at 4am asking to borrow a rubber ducky and a tampon?
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