at the topless march for equality..and wow.not all these boobs should be treated equally
Also I'm very proud of th fact that I walked my dog before bed. Drunk dog walking should be an Olympic sport; it takes SKILLS.
After it was shut down sean literally made out with four separate girls between the 100 feet to our house. It was a rampage.
I also got a mission for you and you're gonna love it. Biggest. Hospital. Party. Ever.
I almost drank vegetable oil. Where were you? I needed you.
When he couldn't get it up, he handed me a beer, put his clothes back on, and said "try again tomorrow."
Just used the "Buddy" Poppy flower I got from a veteran to clean my one hitter. "I'm proud to be an American"
The laundromat is nothing like In the pornos
I may have just masturbated while on hold with the IRS. don't judge me
Then his buddy called and said "my car broke down, I need a ride. If I'm not home by midnight they'll extend my house arrest." And I knew it was time to leave.
so how was it...?
sadly not as impressive as one might expect from a division one athlete. he lacked the stamina i had hoped for, and by lacked i do mean he fell asleep while he was still inside me. an epic wtf moment, i know.
I just left a 3 minute voicemail to the guy I want to fuck baby talking my cats and I don't know if I can delete it 😐
I was so drunk I got motion sickness from sex.
dude me and this dog are gonna go bond oon the tramplene with stromboli... i think everyone is staring at me... being this high is SO stressful
There is no way entering a gas station bathroom memorializing an alien abduction in rural New Hampshire is a good idea.
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