Then we started crawling around on the floor because we couldn't get up so decided to be tigers instead. Gotta love power hour.
UD be completely fine. you don't lose control just keep a positive environment. for example i really want to lick the wall cause red is delicious but i don't have to.
I just asked the dr if it was herpes while wearing my shirt from the strip club...
I told you to stay away from the strippers in Oklahoma
He just stabbed two olives and a pickle with a fork and deep throated it in front of my family
Not even marginally surprised
I'd rate him "doable" on a scale from "ew, run" to "you should've already fucked him".
That's about an "8" on normal scales.
"can of pringles" is totally a legitimate measure of time
I'm a busy girl. All I wanted was noncommittal sex a few times a week
perfect irony that i'm celebrating international women's day with a yeast infection
the japanese bartender dressed as a cowboy in assless chaps just told me i was too drunk for another shot
She seriously spent 30 minutes trying to make balloon animals out of my limp dick...
...
Exactly.
I think our prof has caught onto our drinking game. He burst into the room with a big smile on his face and yelled "essentially! Essentially! Essentially!"
My mom just told me she would flash her tits to a cop to get me out of jail, and then we high-fived.
I'm daydrinking whiskey in a princess hat
Congrats you've received dick pics from an Olympic silver medalist
We walked around last night for hours saying nothing but nom nom nom and barking at each other.
Randomize
