And just as he was about to come, he screamed "Oh Christy!!"
What's wrong with that? Your name IS christy.
He then said, "Oh shit, sorry Julie."
I feel like sober is me a distant relative that I only see on christmas..
So chef boyardee smells exactly the same after you throw it up
i literally discovered the exact same thing last week. i had the lasagna one
ravioli
It's a line of coke at 10 a.m. kind of Saturday. Don't be a pussy about life.
She's either too fat to type, hammered or has terrible spelling.
I am definitely the only sober one on this train. And the only one not wearing a business suit. Wow, Monday Korea.
There are so many birds around me. And squirrels. I feel like that chick from Enchanted...but like if she had a dick and made poor life decisions.
Someone left their drag queen on my couch. On the plus side, he sure does know how to make a mean cup of coffee.
Please brint me miilk. I am on the floor but my door is open. Thank you, i appreciate u verry much.
what compelled you to fill her bra with pudding and freeze it in the first place?
i might remember if i didn't get knocked out with it later that day.
Well shove his head down there and tell him not to stop til we have a new president!
I’m not closing myself off the to the possibility of making a bad life choice.
Everything is bullshit and I hate everyone
I mean, don't most people have like a two week grace period where it's okay to ditch new friends?
last night you made out with a 19 year old on a bar and i woke up with a swede in my bed. lets just say that never happened.
Randomize
