Only in Alabama do they play hymns in a bar!!!
me and my sister are feeding my dog poprocks. this is proof you don't need a lot of money to have fun.
just got 3 freshman girls to makeout with each other at a toga party! score!
why is this not a picture message?!?!
My cha cha got a haircut
thank god. going down on you was like chewing on astroturf
Your last words were "i'm gonna motorboat the bartender." then you commenced with an attempted motorboat
Well, he has like 3 girlfriends but I think I could be polygamist for that dick.
A girl just told me she printed out my pictures and taped them on her wall. I have to stop sleeping with virgins.
We are buying drugs from a guy with a Jesus fish on his dodge caravan.
I bet my lungs hate me more than my liver
That's a hard toss up
Nothing like banging your nurse in the shower while staying in the hospital
you walked around drinking beer out of a plunger and telling people it was a goblet...
I can not be a lesbian living on Beaverland.
Probably gonna run and pray I throw up. Then go get a coffee/bagel & continue to rally
Single lady's Saturday night: eat doritos, masturbate, eat more doritos. Do shot of Jager. Repeat until desired result is achieved.
Don’t listen to me, I’m walking around wearing nothing but rave bracelets and headphones shouting “yeeeeaaahhhhhh”
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