just witnessed a squirrel raping another squirrel. i couldn't look away.
i saw a guy balancing a black cat on his head last nite
get a pic
i tried he was too far away anotherguy was walking with paper bags on his feet explain that
i want ur life
Best look from Detroit today: running across the street with your buttcheeks on display carrying a 40 oz. Or maybe being crazy-pregnant and screaming and slamming a pay phone. Toss up.
but instead of smelling like hand cream and homemade cookies, she smells like a yeast infection.
I'm too high to be shopping. I just contemplated deoderant for fifteen minutes. Now testing pillows
I had to stop messing around with him for fear of laughing in his face. I swear it was a pinky finger in his pants
no seriously. she's even got the premier of the real L word on her calendar at work. that lesbian.
We got to the party at eleven, and the host was already in the hospital from being stabbed. And she brought the stabber home with us when we left.
Give me one reason I shouldn't put the phrase "sex emotions" into my essay.
No.
I deem it safe for us to drink together again.
They dropped the charges?
Yeppers. Come drink beers.
I just did the math. It is, in fact, cheaper to go out drinking every weekend than it would be for me to pay for a legitimate therapist. What are you doing next Friday night?
Well once I told her I had a girlfriend she actually got more aggressive. Then Danielle called me and she saw the pic of the two of us on my phone and immediately said "can my caller I'd pic be me sitting on your face" wtf?
HE GAVE ME ONE OF HIS BEERS.
YOU'RE THE CHOSEN ONE.
By the way, just opened the browser on my phone for the first time today... And it was it the "images" section of "who invented ass fucking"
So thanks for that
I like how I can go from sucking dick in the my basement to singing along to veggie tales with my family in a span of 10 minutes.
Randomize
