nothing says happy birthday like half a tampon wrapped in someone else's hair on your shoulder.
finally nailed that neighbor chick. hopefully i can get her wireless password now. free internet trumps moral standards any day
Hookers taste better with whip cream
Maybe we ought to get some pennicillin too
Fair enough
I know it is almost summer when the students in my night class start showing up drunk.
i'm satisfied with the level of pretty that his new girlfriend isn't.
Weird we were more concerned with sharing our germs than tag teaming the blow job?
Chef at hibachi place learned it was my bday and sprayed 20 second count worth of saki in my mouth. Not sure it was the right image to share with my kids, but thought you'd be proud.
I am trying to take a picture of a man in a wheelchair trying to ship a michael jackson portrait
Batchelotette party success. I woke up on the floor in nothing but a thong, a garter and a shirt that says Just Do Me.
I climbed out a window to pee last night because i thought i was locked in the room... Then crawled back in and went to bed. The poor neighbors.
Oh. I'm probably going to just get a viagra and ruin your life.
party tonight. bring as many traffic cones as you can find. we need to section off the blackout drunks way better this time
but seriously, an anthropology paper shouldn't be hard if you're trashed, right?
Bringing my cat to a booty call was not my finest hour
He literally asked permission to hit on me
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